It’s been a rough two weeks.
Things seem to be weighing heavily on my heart, and for some reason I cannot pinpoint why I am feeling the way I am.
Have you ever gotten blown over by a big gust of wind? It seems to come out of nowhere and it tosses your hair around your face, making it stick to your lipstick, unable to be tamed. You try to turn away from it to get the hair our of your face so you can see again, but no matter which way you turn, it keeps flying.
That’s the feeling. That is what has been holding me in its grips for the last two weeks. I dont know why, and I cannot seem to figure out the underlying cause of it. I am just going with it and ignoring it as much as I can.
With it being summer, I have been hanging out with my kids and giving them a fun filled break. We spend our days with walks to the park, afternoons by the pool, and trips to the library. I enjoy it because I have learned so much about my kids just by spending more quality time with them.
However, I can’t seem to shake this feeling. This feeling if lonliness, of sadness. I have no clue why this feeling has overtaken me, but I can tell you that it is strong.
But you know what? My faith is stronger. I pray and read my bible, and then I give it up to God. I notice the anxiety goes away, and it makes it easier to play and laugh with my kids. It makes it easier to love my husband and give him the attention he needs from me. It makes it easier for me to love myself and not focus on my outer appearance, but rather focus on my spiritual appearance.
I don’t have the answer to correct this right now, but God does, and He will reveal it in His timing.
I told you all that this wasn’t always going to be that perfect and happy kind of blog. I will not always be full of joy and laughter. I am human. I have feelings, and those feelings can be of anxiety, lonliness, and depression sometimes. But I share this struggle because I know that in the end, I’ll get out of it. My God has the power to do anything.
Not even the feeling of doom that anxiety and depression gives me can stand a chance against my God.
I know this, but I just have to remind myself it will be worked out when God is readynto work it out. In the meantime, I’m going to hold on and learn along the way.
Keep me in your prayers, followers. This may be a bumpy ride ❤