Denying Myself 

One of the most difficult things for me to grasp as a follower of Christ was denying my own plans for my life and giving the control over to God. 

The people who know me know I am a control freak, a perfectionist, and I do my best to plan each and every detail of my day. I have specific ideas for how I’d like to live life. I am this way because I am human, I have flaws, and I sin. A lot. 

While giving up control can be frustrating, there is such a freeing feeling that comes with it.

I have been pretty absent lately with my blog, which was partly because I wasn’t feeling a creative pull, and I was trying to schedule “blog writing time”. I have since learned that you can’t force creativity. It has to flow from you. So, naturally, I started trying to plan a creative time. Again, planning. Always planning. 

Nothing was working, I felt like I was in a rut I couldn’t get myself out of. So, I prayed. I have been praying about giving my plans to God and being open to God’s plan for me. I have been asking the Lord to give me some patience and really open up my eyes to be able to see His plan clearly so I can follow it. 

Perfectionists really, in my opinion, have a hard time with following God’s plan because it is usually completely off the plan they have for themselves. I tend to miss key things God gives me, even if He puts them smack dab under my nose. So I prayed for the ability to be able to see and follow His plan the way He wants me to. So far, things are falling into place. It is slow going, but I can really tell this is where I need to be right now. God really is answering my prayers asking for the giant neon signs saying “go this way” so I don’t stray from His path. 

So, as I move forward on this journey, keep me in your prayers! I am looking forward to what God has planned for me. Now hopefully I don’t wander… 


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